OK, thought I might start to write things here again. Perhaps it will be helpful to me… Maybe this start will mirror a start of inner activity. Because just as this blog once started up and then ended, so have the inner activity/work done for quite some times. How to find strength to go against everything negative within me? I am somewhat ashamed of what I do. Or what I don’t do. There are days where I put in lots of efforts, only to soon be taken away. Where is the strength? Where has it gone? What am I doing with my life? What do I want in life? The answer to that kind of varies, even if the strongest singular answer is to find out death, purpose of living, etc… But then the “schizophrenia” sets in, doing counter-productive activities, and then regret… Then determination, then self-deceit… phew, what am I doing…

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